Peripheral Admiration

It’s 7:28am. Yes, this isn’t on my main site. No longer will I be posting super personal things there, but that’s for a different post. Today, I will be posting about a dream I had about Thalia. It’s short. At least what I remember of it as of this moment.

It’s morning in my dream. There was a large wide building across the street from where I was. The wall facing me from that building had its shutters opened. Thalia was moving about wearing dark red and black lingerie. Her large breasts were barely covered and often times popped out when she bounced around. It looked like she was deliberately moving in a way that exposed her lovely bits. Her partner was there, along with two young children. They were sitting around a white table, having breakfast. Thalia was the only one moving about, giving out dishes of food, cleaning up, getting ready for the day. Every now and then, she would face my direction and make a move that would expose her, or to make a pose that would show her sexiness. Her partner in one instance, looked like he was enjoying himself and was naked, wearing only a baseball cap. He was muscular, stretching over his seat and smiling. From the point of view of most people, it seemed like a happy family doing their thing. However, she was indirectly expressing herself to me. When the room was cleared, she was the one left behind to clean up after the mess, sweep the floors, put away the dishes, as I watched, I wish I could be there to help her with all of that, then thank her and give her a kiss to start the day. Alas, I was ‘here’, on the other side of the street, where I could only admire her from afar.

In all of my dreams, I rarely see people in their older years. Even for Thalia, while she is in her 40s now, in my dreams, she is always in her 20s or early 30s. It is only I, that I am aged. Often times, I am still in my 20s, but at times, I am a little boy, then in other times, I am in my 60s.

The intuition of this dream seems pretty obvious. Though I wish I can admire her by touch and kisses. Perhaps?

As a side note, I often type up the following to Thalia on Whatsapp…

Good morning darling. Hope you had a productive day yesterday.

…but I always chicken out, fearing it may burden her with that sort of affection. Specifically the word “darling”. Occasionally, twice actually, I would greet her with “Hola Querida”, which means “Hello Darling”. I wanted to call her darling or beloved, but I didn’t want to encumber her with unwanted affection. I mean so far, she’s fine with it, but “Hola Querida” is a casual form of saying beloved or darling. Thus it’s often used to greet a close friend affectionately, rather than be seen as a romantic or intimate one. Then again, it’s also often used to greet mistresses and lovers. I’m sure Thalia hasn’t researched this meaning far enough to know my intentions for calling her as thus. Plus, it’s not like she responds to me as such anyway. Regardless, I ended up sending her “Buenos Dias Querida. Hope you had a productive day yesterday. Are you working today? How did you sleep?” That translates to “Good morning darling…”

Here is me overthinking. ^_^ Though I digress. Yes, I desire her, but doesn’t mean I have to be selfish about it. Love is recognizing what the person you want needs, and making sure her needs are met. Hence when Amber tells other people my love is conditional, people automatically jump to conclusions that I am an asshole. Conditions allow me to prioritize who gets what, when, and how. To give my all to one person just because I love that person is inefficient and stupid. It makes one into a doormat. However, this is for a different blog post. Hope Thalia has a good day regardless. Obviously, in case Amber reads this and pouts her lips, and yes, obviously, you too honey. 😉