The Journey On

Yesterday, I had a dream, that in my waking moments, made an emotional impact on me, which unfortunately faded to a point I completely forgot about as the morning unfolded until this morning where this dream continued on, but through a different perspective.

Yesterday, I dreamed that I was a part of a crew of naval officers, during a time of uncertainty, war and turmoil. The main character, the focal point wasn’t really about me though. My story was secondary, to the main story which was about a mercenary commander who we all followed and how we gain repute for becoming a force to be reckon with, as well as a key factor in winning the war for our client.

The story is long and since the dream, no matter how vivid it was, is still a dream, I can only remember bits and pieces of it. I will say however, that it was an epic dream and I will forever remember bits and pieces of it, as I have for many of my past vivid dreams.

Today’s dream was a continuance of yesterday’s dream, but for the most part, it was mainly about us being civilians who needed to get away from an old life that was catching up to us. The dream was mainly about me and my wife, Amber, even though at the very end of the dream, there was a tribute scene for the commander who had eventually been promoted to admiral.

So here are the parts I remember from yesterday.

In the beginning, the entire world was at war. There were many factions. The USA was no longer the USA. Canada was no longer Canada. This was the same for many countries around the world. Many places were lawless. Many places were barren, destroyed and there was a lot of famine.

We were a raggedy crew of mercenaries for hire. We mainly escorted caravans and transportation of refugees. Sometimes, we were hired in as a vanguard of a much larger fleet of warships. Note that at this point in time, our technology allowed flying warships of varying sizes to be built. They were a regular sight. Our ship was equivalent to a light frigate. So when I said caravan, I am speaking about a small fleet of transport ships that are usually smaller than even a light frigate. Flying ships flew using a mix of technologies, usually pushed by large turbines, mixed with a combination of sails and rocket engines. Some ships use older technology such as reinforced hydrogen dirigibles.

Our light frigate had two main guns which can do heavy damage to other light and medium size frigates, some damage to heavy frigates and destroyers, and barely any damage to heavy destroyers and heavier ships. It was meant to knock out engines and fighter craft, while the heavier ships do the destroying for fleet battles.

Anyway, our commander was the main focus of the first dream, even though it was perspective centric. Meaning while I was dreaming, I knew the focus was the commander, because the dream was being told from mainly my perspective, it made it look like I was the actual focus and the commander, in the background, but in fact, it was using me as the story teller, to talk about all of the achievements made by the commander. I was just a follower, the ‘follow-camera’ so to speak.

While our commander became more reputable for all the good deeds he did and for the battles he was a part of, our ship and crew also became more reputable. This invited jealousy and a new target for opposing forces, not necessarily enemies from enemy factions, but enemies from even within the same faction. This is where I came in. To protect my commander and his repute, I did some questionable things. Perhaps it wasn’t solely motivated by selfless purposes and maybe it was even just to protect my own ass, but ultimately, it played a role in protecting him and the crew. Throughout the dream, the commander lead us through thick and thin. We always came out on top, even if we suffered losses, bruises and cost us much money. When the war was won in our favour, my commander was made an admiral and when he became admiral, he did whatever he could to protect me. Even though ultimately, I didn’t want to put him further at risk, I set myself free by leading an entirely civilian-only lifestyle, with the help of some underworlders who owed me some favours.

In that first dream, my commander is a gay man and for some reason, this still mattered to some degree. There was another power, with much greater authority who appeared in my dream. He was the Grand Admiral and Commander In Chief of the faction we were a part of. He had major respect for our commander. So while some bigoted people in the fleet still joke about my commander being gay and that’s probably how he became so reputable with achievements, the Commander In Chief reminded everyone at the award ceremonies for 90 minutes at the end of each ceremony, why and how my commander deserved the awards and tribulations he received. It was there, that footage from battle drones were compiled and released to the public in large screen monitors. This reminded civilians that the wars were harsh and many lost their lives. It also shown the bigoted that people should always be recognized for their abilities and not for things unrelated to them, like their sexual orientation.

There were dozens of ceremonies around the newly established nation. So there were equally as many showings of those footages. The commander was slowly, but gradually gaining repute beyond his station. He was venerated. He was honoured. This made him feel uncomfortable, even though he was always such a big hearted, extroverted man. It was too much attention for him.

In the second dream, it was mainly about me. There were parts where I had lots of fuck buddies. There was one woman I was particularly very fond of who loved giving me blowjobs. My dream sequences about that was very specific and very detailed. There were Aloe Vera jellies involved and lots and lots of cream and honey. Skipping that, I also met a woman, a civilian named Amber. We eventually got married.

This part of the dream was a sad one for me. This was about the time I needed to find passage to a new life, leaving behind the glory and reputation of my current one. So I visited an underworld mob boss of Triad origins. Upon seeing me, he was cautious, but as I warmed up to him, he eventually called me Dai Goh, which means big brother. Before I was a mercenary, I was a gang leader and he was my right hand man. When I got out of the gang and got hired as a mercenary, I gave up all of that past and the glory that came with it. So leaving my naval career is a reflection of when I left my gang life. Except now, I had something I needed to protect that wasn’t just my life. My wife doesn’t know I was a gang boss. She only knew that I was a mercenary, a part of a mercenary company that won key battles that eventually was accepted as an elite unit of the faction’s navy. She knows me as a lieutenant in the navy. She didn’t know I had such a shady past and she didn’t know of the crimes I committed during our mercenary days, trying to protect the mercenary company.

So to her, she thinks I am trying to leave this life to lead a mundane life. To me, I am leaving this life, so I can be with her. She never really questioned why I wanted to leave my prestigious navy career, as I assured her we will have the wealth, a place to call home and a new life, but I knew she would have loved that I had stayed. Come on! Who wouldn’t want to live in a life with such high repute and glory?! I was a part of the crew that won key battles that finally won the foundation of this nation!

So throughout this second dream, my ‘brother’ went through hoops to book passage for my wife and I for our new life. There was an entire story there. A sad, anger filled one.

My brother and I got into a fight, emotional one with words that hurt. However, he guaranteed me that no matter what happens, no matter where we are, even if we never acknowledge each other again, he told me that I will always be his brother.

This made me cry out loud inside my dream. I remember dropping to my knees and I wept like I haven’t before. He watched me for awhile, came over and helped me up, as the transport ship docked next to the river. The ship was bulky, yet it hovered over elegantly, easing into a floating stop where the ship is still weaving in and out slightly above the river, with flora blowing outward, as well as causing major ripples and waves directly below the ship.

He hugged me then let me go. I took my wife’s hands and lead her aboard the ship. She was very happy and very eager. I looked back once, acknowledged all that he did for me, turned back around and boarded the ship. Moments later, we left.

I had to make one last stop. I told my wife that I will meet her at the ferry docks where the ship will make one last stop before moving on. The transport ship docked with the new battle cruiser our commander was given captain of. It was a fine ship, a large command ship for a full fledged fleet that will be used to patrol the regions around the capital. This was a part of the reward for my commander, when he was promoted to admiral – his own battle cruiser command ship and a fleet of frigates of varying sizes, a couple of destroyers and a few squadrons of fighter craft.

I boarded the ship in civilian clothing, but the guards knew who I was. They tipped their hats to me and smiled and I smiled back at them as I walked passed. The hallways of the ship was beautiful. It was mainly white with panels and lights and glass. It was sunny outside and the blast windows were opened, so the light could shine in. The ship was docked at the capital’s ship yard. It was going through some last rounds of diagnostics before going on its maiden voyage.

I walked into the bridge and a couple of ensigns stood at attention. It made me happy, even though I was just a lieutenant. I guess being a lieutenant of the original mercenary company that took down the enemy command ship has its place even amongst the new generation of navy personnel. I was being honoured deservingly and I enjoyed it immensely.

My commander, the admiral of this new fleet saw my image fade into view in the reflection of the window in front of him and he said nothing. He just stared through the window into whatever was before the ship. I saluted him and he looked down briefly, then looked up again, as if in a split moment of deep thought. As I was about to turn to leave, the monitors lit up with an announcement. The Commander In Chief is being officially inaugurated into office, for the first time, for this new nation, as president. The admiral smiled briefly and rocked back and forth for a few seconds. I stayed to watch the inauguration. As it finished, the new president gave his usual speech of thanks, wisdom and post-war inspiration. Then he made one last tribute to the commander and the crew’s achievements. We noticed that the president was on a floating platform that flew over to our ship. He wanted to personally thank and pay tribute to us one last time, to remind everyone why we’re all still here today. As this went on, I looked up through the class ceiling and saw the flagship I was once aboard, fighting to our last breaths to overtake. That used to be the enemy’s flagship, which we boarded with our frigate when we crashed into her, killed a lot of people, got some of our people killed, killed the enemy admiral and captain, took it over, then announced a cease fire. As I looked up, I remarked, “I’m going to miss those days.” I didn’t mean I was going to miss that horrific battle. I meant, in an indirect way, that I will miss the crew and commander and the days when we were all a mercenary company. Though of course, nothing really beats peace time and an established nation.

The commander finally turned around, patted my shoulder and nodded to me. We shook hands and I said, “I take my leave now sir.” Which he responded with another long look and a firm nod. I turned around and left.

As I boarded the transport ship at the ferry docks, the large monitors around the capital city lit up with the president personally thanking the admiral and the crew, replayed parts of the footage and continued his speech. As our transport ship flew over the rebuilt city, my wife Amber remarks, “I am so excited!”

A crew member walked over to us and told us our itinerary. “We have to make some stops before we get to your final drop off. We will make a stop at Seattle, then [inaudible] city, then Sa…” Before he could finish, Amber interrupted him and said, “Los Angeles!” The guy, who looks to be about 19-21, blankly stares at her and continues, “San Francisco which you will depart. Another ship will pick you up from there.”

At this point, it cuts to the scene of the president making its final speech and tribute to the heroic feats of our crew and commander. Reminding us that we should not be judged by what we were born with, but by the merits of our actions alone. Instead of the usual anthem the president sung in every single ceremony he was a part of when he was Commander In Chief and Grand Admiral, the ‘scene’ cut out in a black screen, as if all of it was a movie. It cut off abruptly, telling its viewers it need not remind them again that this was about the heroic few, rather than the sexual orientation of one. It was also a ‘message’ from my intuition to my consciousness, on my relationship with my wife and how it got to this point in time.

It is a reminder.

The ending scene was beautifully blue. The skies were mostly clear with some puffy white clouds here and there. There were ships hovering miles above the city and the surrounding regions. The moon was in the background. The sun and its beams were perfect. Everything was crisp and clear. My heart was crisp and clear, though tainted with years of hardship, anguish and memory.

I know what the two dreams meant. I just needed to put some of it down here. I just needed another point of reference. I don’t want to lose it. It is still fresh in here.