Before I embark on a journey back into manual writing for my recent client, I’m going to post up an email someone sent me about her man joining the army and stuff.

hi i have a bit of a problem and i would love to hear any advice.

my bf of 2 years recently joined the army in september an is currently in training. it is very stressful not been able to see him and very upsettin when i really need him to be hear for me. in a rage i asked him what is more important a happy life with me or the army and he said the army. i no it was an unfair question but i cant help but feel hurt and pushed aside for a job. i really do love him with all my heart and i feel i should apologise but not shore how or if i should apologise im confused weva i was in the wrong or not if you can understand that please help me it will be very helpful 🙂

Despite her atrocious grammar and disgusting spelling, my reply was…

Unfortunately for those who are in love with those in the military, I have tell you that what they are doing is not simply a job. This isn’t some 9-5 job where they get up in the morning, go through the usual, go to work, and come back home for some t.v. and cuddles with the man or woman in their life. Once they enter the service to their country, trading their own life for that of duty, fellowship, and the defence of their nation’s commands, that is just that, military life becomes their life. This isn’t something that people decide overnight, or type up a resume and hope to whatever invisible being they worship that they get that job. This is something they think over time, train to get into the service, and devote their lives to it.

Of course they will say the army is more important, because it isn’t just the army they are devoting their lives to. It is the nation they are devoting their lives to.

To just simply apologize for this case is not enough. If you want to apologize to him, you have to first understand why he has chosen to do this, and for whatever thoughts he may have, emotions he may feel, and when you have comprehended his choices, then you can make a proper and meaningful apology.

Lastly, you weren’t wrong, but he isn’t wrong either. It’s possible that men and women have their love and devotion split into different aspects of their lives. You crave love and attention from him, but he puts effort into something higher than himself and the both of you, but he probably loves you just as dearly. Though he may not know how to express it accurately.

What you two have to do is openly communicate your feelings, but some compromise is equally as important as open communication. Rather than force him to choose, and create resentment from an ultimatum, you should definitely work it out by compromise, that is, if you truly love that man.

What do you all think?



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  1. 1
    Fong Pei

    I think you hit it bang on….yeah, that’s right….i said bang on! =P

    there are some who enroll in the military b/c they want the education and experience that they can’t afford to attain at a university. However, most enroll because they truly believe in their cause. Sounds like he is one of them.

    I also agree that he probably loves the military and his g/f equally but when he was faced with a sudden ultimatum, he chose the military b/c of how his g/f brought it up.

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