Mood: Tired
Drink: Sho Chiku Bai Sake
Tune: “Enough Love” by Mandalay


I had a MSN conversation with a friend just now. It ended negatively. In essence, she hung up on me. I sighed because she doesn’t realize my sudden dry humor. Which irritates me. I understand that can’t understand how I work and what my past is like. She could only piece things together with bits and pieces of what I tell her, glued together by her own thought processes and perception. I wanted to get mad at her, but in the end, I just sighed.

The friend I was in MSN with asked me if I would be ‘like this’ every time we talk. Looking back at my limited correspondence with her, we don’t talk about my thoughts every time. In fact, looking through my chat history with her, we’ve only talked about my thoughts twice. The first time was during my flu and tonight was the 2nd time. The reason why we talked about it tonight was because she asked me what I “woke up” from and I talked about solutions to problems and that lead to me saying that I know my problems, therefore, I know my solutions and she persisted in that it frustrated her that I don’t let anyone in, etc, etc. Yet, she asked me at the end if it was going to be like this every time we talk. I raised my eyebrow and thought, “We wouldn’t be talking about this if you hadn’t asked in the beginning.”

It’s irritating because she asked, I answered. That answer turned into a rant. She questions and criticizes that, then at the end, asked me if it would be like this every time? I wouldn’t be sharing my thoughts with her, about myself, if she did not ask.

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