[“Velveteen” by Yoko Kanno]

As I was riding home from the gym a few minutes ago, I was thinking that a lot of my female friends have been heart-broken in the recent months. Then as I was turning the 2nd corner to my garage, I whispered out loud, “What’s up with that?!”

For some reason, that last sentence made me think of Captain Tabbyman. If and when I have my own place, I’m going to have two cats – one named Keith and the other Sleeman. Hmmm… Nah, I’ll name the second one Bud and it’ll be a she-cat. So if a female dog is a bitch, what would a female cat be called?

According to CatsUnited.com, a female cat used for breeding is called a “Queen”. Where as a female cat not in heat is called a “Anestrus”. So since a female dog is called a bitch and any woman/girl that has an attitude is also called a bitch – calling a woman/girl a “queen” basically means what? That she’s in heat?


I don’t get it, so don’t bother pondering with and/or without me. [sign] (yes, you got it right, I did not misspell it)… [wink]

So anyway, back on topic… Within the passing radius of my recent break-up with Cindy in late March, I know four girls whom are friends with me that have broken up with their lovers since March as well. [sign] Does that mean I am an heart-break magnet? Meaning, are other sad souls attracted to this rod of glorious retarded love-sick lantern of blah? In other words, I’m like a friggin mosquito lantern zapper, and all these butterflies keep flying towards this ‘false’ light.

I guess another better way of saying it is that it’s like one of those silly low-budget Hollywood movies where a bunch of heart-broken girls and possibly a bunch of heart-broken guys hook up to create a warped friendship of some sort. Mainly a comedy with subtle humor, lots of wit, and a twisted charm – possibly rated teen for some swearing, and sexual innuendo, and also given 4 out of 5 stars for a pretty good story and character interaction and development.

What do you all think?

Lurkers… Just like back in 2000 to 2002 at CDOS.org. [sign]

Ah this reminds me of a conversation between Albert and I earlier today. We were talking about women of our past and the ones we were attracted to and the ones that inverted our penises, and sowed itself shut, along with the its nutsacks. Can I get anymore subtle (yet vulgar still) than that? [wink] [“Sirius 909” by Romolo di Prisco]

Yes, so Albert was… [ponders] Okay, first and foremost, I have to change some names to protect Albert and myself from having the potential to turn into Eunuchs forcefully.


^^ I’m hungry for hamburgers suddenly. 8]

Right, so Albert was telling me about King Kong and stuff. This particular girl was/is actually quite physically appealing, but her mentality was over-suffocated with her Christian religion. Considered her smothered with Jesus and lathered with God. To those who didn’t pick it up – there are supposed to be word(s) after “Jesus” and “God” that I didn’t put in due to two of my sisters being Christian. They’re both devote and are great gals, so I don’t want to say anything to offend their beliefs. [ponders] I suddenly had the thought of tickling both of them with two giant flamingo feathers.

Anyway, we talked about the basic standard of attraction. As far as foundations go, our likes and dislikes are quite similar – eg: we both get very turned off by women who need to still find themselves, who don’t know themselves, who don’t know what they want, and why they want the things they think they want.

Cindy, as well as every one of my ex’s had asked me why I know myself and why I know what I want. I told them that it was very simple in my mind and heart, but an explanation would not warrant an accurate response. I know myself and I know exactly what I want/desire because of what is inside here [points to myself]. I feel it. It’s constant.

With that said, over the last three months, I’ve had the chance to meet quite a few different females. I came to this conclusion: I am VERY attracted to older women. I am VERY attracted to older women who know what they want. You know how many bonus points they get for having that aspect? If being facially gorgeous gives a woman 10 points, and having a body like that of Aphrodite (the Goddess of romance, love, and beauty) gives a woman 20 points (a nice ass an extra +10) – knowing what she wants and is brave enough to accept a mental challenge, maybe even daring enough to meet my words in the middle will definitely give her 30 points towards attraction, as well as another 30% to the total.


[“Romelus 3” by Alistair Hirst]

Sheila recently asked me if I find Amie more physically appealing than herself, and I told her that I do find Amie more physically appealing, but I find that her known desires (Sheila’s) are much more attractive. You see, I am very attracted to women who not only know what they want, but also for their daring traits. Eg: Sheila asked me, “What do you want Li?”

My answer was simple, “Security and happiness for those close to me.”

Then I asked her, “How about you? What do you want?”

[laughs] Believe it or not, she replied, “I want you Li.”

I am not typing this here for ego-sake. I am entering this here to tell people what I mean in terms of being daring.

In the past, when a girl took a sweet-ass grandma time trying to tell me she likes me, it actually was pretty cute, because I was younger and I thought that girls like that were alright. However, as I got older, I find that a turn off. Like a couple of weeks ago, I went to Hon’s in Richmond with Albert and Jenny – one of the waitresses, Grace served us. I found her to be pretty cute. Upon leaving, I left a note, “Hey, this is Li, the one in the blue. I think you’re quite cute. Why don’t you give me a shout?” Then left my email address.

Second time I went back, I asked another waitress whether Grace works there every day or not, and she said she does. Okay, so this scared her away. Oh well. If she can’t take such a simple assertion, then there is no point in me pursuing after her. I am literally sick and tired of little girls who either try to play hard to get (which bores me unless she is really worth the trouble), or sick and tired of women who have psychotic tendencies and need to leech on the nearest male friend who gives them comfort. No no no, I’m not saying all of you. Just a few unnamed ones…….

[“Cyber Bird” by Gabriella Robin & Yoko Kanno]




Add yours
  1. 1

    HAHAHAHA so 2 questions for Leemaster:

    1) What qualities “invert penises, and sowsitself shut, along with the its nutsacks”? haha Then I’ll tell you mine 😉
    2) So in your opinion, what is the best way to let a guy know she ain’t interested?

  2. 2

    1) You mean what qualifies? If it’s “what qualifies” then I say… [lost in thought] [thinks to myself: a black hole, dark, dank, hollow…….] Smells like blue cheese and rotten milk. Eeew! You know what pussy tastes like? THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT TASTES LIKE! Sometimes like double A battery as well. Weird!


    2) In my opinion, the best way is to just tell him that she ain’t interested and vice versa. For the nerds/geeks that never had a girlfriend in their lives, then well, maybe some tact, but sometimes, you really have to get the message across. Oh and bring a friend – preferrably someone smart and bigger in case the nerd/geek goes psycho.

    PSYCHO!!!! LIKE PATRICK BATEMAN!!!! [puts cloak on then disappears]

  3. 5

    [coughs] Error! Error! Not processing! Nerd-mode loaded. Ah! Is this what happens………

    Leeman: I don’t get it?
    Brain: Me neither.
    The Other Leeman: Fantastic.


  4. 6

    Mmm Nerds are goood…. Willy Wonka’s a GENIUS I tells yas, GENIUS!!! K, let’s try this once more, third time’s a charm, right?

    1) OMI!! TMI!!!! *insert squinting eyes, sweaty rolling down face here*
    2) Hmm can I just take Patrick Starfish with me? 😀

  5. 7

    1) [pours you some 7-up (spiked with vodka)]

    2) Patrick The Starfish is PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFECT!

    BTW, u sleepy? I suggest you rub your eyes for clarity-sakes. [ahem] So what is the first thing you want to eat once u come back to Hongcouver?

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