I might have the flu, I am unsure. I could check myself into emergency, but no. My entire body is aching and my stomach hurts. My head feels a bit weird. I almost feel like throwing up.

Then there is the emotional anguish. It’s odd how when it’s bad, everything is bad. Is this what pure depression feels like? If it does, it really sucks. It’s no wonder those that suffer from it constantly think of suicide. The sweet embrace of death for a broken body, a broken soul.

Is this my weakest point? I thought I had gone to my weakest already, but that’s too unrealistic, as I potentially have a long life ahead. If not, then I know it was my time.

I haven’t eaten anything. I’m sipping a large glass of cool orange juice mixed with water. I dread trying to swallow the Tylenol pill. My heart aches. My stomach churns. My bowels twist. My back hurts. I now feel everything caught up to me. I can no longer laugh and smile as I once did, as I wanted to.


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    Dearest, I hate to read how awful you’re feeling. I do think you’ve got one thing, probably physical, that’s off, or wrong, and that is manifesting itself in many different ways. It happens to the best of us. I wish I could do something, but being a million miles away, I can’t. I hope when you wake up you’ll feel better, but if you don’t, take a day off and go and see a doctor.
    You are not alone. You have friends who love and care for you. Take care, okay?? Hugs x

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