Updated 2024/05/15. used to be, created on April 1st, 2006, a couple of weeks after my break up with Cindy. It was a place to vent my feelings and I was super active here. However, I recognize this state of being has always just existed along with my desire to vent my thoughts and feelings with the diaries I had kept prior to Leemanism. In other words, Leemanism has always existed because I existed.

The main reason my blog moved here, is because I am creating a web comic based on my life and experiences over at Since rarely, anyone these days read my blog, I might as well make it more ‘useful’ and convert it into an element that makes ‘me’ stand out more. Rather than making into a pseudo self-help site, I wanted Leemanism to be a visual representation of what my life is about with a twist on things.

Regardless, welcome to what remains of Leemanisn as Dazzlious. As of 2024, the essence of Leemanism is 18 years old last month.

Over the course of the 18 years this blog has been around, I’ve split up the site into different themes, then merged them again repeatedly. Basically, at some points in the history of this blog, I felt that I had strayed too far out into the world and put less focus on what mattered to me, which was about my life and those around it. By the time 2011 came along, my blog dwindled and devolved into venting about political corruption, social injustice, sexism, semi-activism, and calling out hypocrisy. However, I hated that. I hated that I allowed myself to be baited into such incendiary topics. I am not saying fighting against inequality, injustice, and prejudice aren’t good things to talk about. I am saying this isn’t what Leemanism was supposed to be about. I have other outlets for that sort of thing, where people will actually see my beliefs. At this blog, firstly, not too many people come here and secondly, I don’t want to invite trolls and extremists to my site.

In short, Dazzlious is about me and the things that affect me subtly and immediately.


So who is the person behind

As of January 2024, I am 45 years of age. I am 5ft 7in tall, weigh about 145 pounds, of average build, with a slight beer belly. My right eye is mostly dysfunctional due to an intersection mishap on the first day of school in 1994. I am infertile, but I can still have sex. I take testosterone shots once every two weeks. I started doing testosterone therapy when I was about 17. This will pretty much go on for the remainder of my life.

My ethnicity is Chinese. I speak, read, and write English fluently. I speak Cantonese vaguely. I can barely understand Hakka, which is my family’s ancestral language. My Sun Sign is Capricorn. My Moon Sign is Leo. My Elemental Zodiac sign is Earth Horse.

I met my wife Amber as a penpal at Interpals in 2010, flew over to see her in 2012, and got married in Germany in 2013. My friend since childhood, Patrick was my best man and photographer. His dad, Uncle Dick came with us, and generously gifted the plane ticket to me. I wanted more of my close friends to come to my wedding, but it was far away and it would have been costly, as well as scheduling would have been tough for them.

At one time, I had a pretty awesome bio about myself. One of my old time readers remarked that she was enchanted by my thoughts, thought process, beliefs, and feelings. However, I no longer have that version of my About Me page and actually, it doesn’t matter so much. I think it’s better that people just either get to know me, or end up interpreting the type of person I am just from reading my blog posts. Accuracy of my character isn’t important from strangers. I will get flamed for something, one way or another. Rarely do people fall for me. Mostly, they just read my stuff and form a monotone idea of me. Of course, even if people see me as one or two colours, ultimately, I am really a shade or gradient. It depends on many different transitional factors.


I know you from somewhere else

You may have seen me briefly at I was listed as Top 10 Most Viewed member for their Relationship category in 2018. Not bad, considering I was up against millions of accounts. Alas, while I adored the concept of, I eventually left the site because of its Paid Partner Program which resulted in an insane amount of Q&A spam. The PPP resulted in a huge influx of cookie cutter questions with sock puppet accounts creating answers to those cookie cutter questions. Which meant that whoever was posting up those questions, weren’t genuinely seeking answers. They posted up questions for a broad range of categories for the sole purpose of trying to get paid. Quora sucks shit.

So you’re a relationship coach?

I am not a relationship coach nor a relationship counselor. I am just a guy whose had quite a bit of experience dealing with varying relationships, as well as sought out by various people over the decades with their own relationship issues. I can be quite outspoken, blunt, to-the-point, and a bit cold at times to how I approach problems. Most people express empathy and sugar coated fluff. I don’t. I read a massive wall of text and most of the time, can immediately see the main problem. I go after that main problem with thunder and lightning, instead of trying to reign people in with padded straitjackets while feeding them super sweetened honey bombs of empathetic consideration.

A lot of people rate my advice as poor, because they want to see empathy instead of straight-to-the-point criticism and advice. They want the advice that cater to their own petty feelings of revenge for those whom have wronged them, adoration for being where they are, and that they are in the right. Fuck it. A lot of the time, they can’t even see pass their own egotism and aren’t actually seeking answers to their problems. They’re seeking confirmation that their method, their frame of mind, their decisions are the absolutely correct ones.

Amber may contribute a bit by reading and commenting on my posts specific to the relationship advice I give. She will either disagree and educate with her own perspectives, or agree and give further insight. Think of her as the person keeping me in check, adding some humanity to my cold bluntness, and to show others a more humanistic way of reading my opinions and advice.

In short, I can be an asshole. Amber smacks me upside my head, turns to you, and tells you, “This is actually what he meant…” ♥


It seems you have done quite a bit of traveling

Mostly by accident, in the sense that everything I did was primarily through someone else’s purpose for me to do so. It wasn’t because I decided to go there one day. It was primarily because a friend wanted a wedding abroad, or my girlfriend just so happens to be in a different country, or something along those lines.

The following is a list of places I’ve been to as of 2021-01-16. The cities listed means I spent most of my time in and around those places.

  • Germany: Frankfurt, Kiel, Munich for a layover, Schoenberg, Schwartbuck.
  • The United States: Florida, Washington state, Fort Worth in Texas for a layover.
  • Canada: Ontario (Metro Toronto), Alberta (Calgary, Lake Louise), all over Lower Mainland in B.C.
  • China: Hong Kong, Macau, Beijing/Shanghai for layovers.
  • The Caribbean: Nassau, St. Maartin’s, Bahamas.
  • While in the plane, I witnessed the incredible beauty of Japan and Mount Fuji.

What is this about you being in a non-monogamous relationship?

Amber and I opened up our marriage back in September 2020. We created a comprehensive set of relationship rules and since then, had revised it a few times.

Our non-monogamous lifestyle is more on the wavelength of swinging, except we’re not meeting up with any strangers, and we’re only seeking one, maybe two relationships with other people. Also, it comes down to each individual’s ultimate needs and wants. Our relationship rules are split up into two specific sections. The core rules that dictate our relationship dynamics with other people, and the rules that dictate each individual’s relationships with other people.

Basically, Amber is opened to having intimate/romantic relationships with women, and I am opened to having intimate encounters with my female friends. Those intimate encounters may or may not evolve into romantic ones.